Sometimes I still have to remind myself that I am a mom. Should I feel bad that I have to remind myself that? Lol sometimes I have to remind myself I can't just up and leave whenever I feel like it. I could never imagine myself leaving Ivy, but seriously it is the weird thing to talk to yourself about that lol. Eh whatever, I guess maybe some new moms still feel that way too. Anyways, the last three months have been so crazy and so fun. Ivy is growing like a weed (sooooo smiley too!) and I feel like if I eat one more bag of baked Cheetos I am going to grow wider. PSA, I am still going to eat a bag of baked Cheetos lol. Mother's Day hit Sunday and I seriously had such a good time. Did a little shopping for myself and then I went to a movie *insert drum roll* BY MYSELF!!! Seriously, it is like the best thing ever. I highly highly HIGHLY recommend this to anyone and everyone to do it at least do once. Don't get me wrong, I love going with Joe, but it was nice to just chill in the movie theater with a bag of popcorn and Coke and not have to share with someone. The Avengers: Infinity War, changed my freaking life. I won't get into the details because 1. I don't want to give out potential spoilers and 2. I would go on and on about it for the rest of the post. Lastly, I went to dinner with Joe and Ivy at my favorite Mexican resturant. It was seriously a splendid first Mother's Day. Since being back to work a few weeks ago, it is so nice to get into a routine. Ivy actually does so much better being on a routine as well so I really don't regret coming back to work early. Plus I missed all of those daycare kids. But honestly, I got so bored and I really didn't think I was going to. Plus, Ivy had a really hard 6 week mark and I was sooooo emotionally drained from hearing her cry every second of the day. It was another reason why I decided to go back at 9 weeks rather than 12 weeks. Then again, I am taking her to work with me. I can't vouch for those moms out there that do leave their babies at daycare and don't get to see them. I would be devastated if I worked somewhere else and Ivy went to daycare. Then I would have probably taken the 12 weeks for sure. Last thing I want to mention that I am very grateful for. FORMULA. OH GOOD LORD. Why did I think that formula was evil? Breastfeeding was so hard and painful. I give props to all the moms that did it and continue to do it with each child they have. A wonderful lady that cuts my hair said it came naturally to her and she was the first mom I didn't get envious about. Because before she said that, she said, "So what? She is thriving and healthy." She told me this after I was telling her about my struggle with it and how bad I felt. It was the way she said it and how she went about it that made me think, you betcha! My little girl is very healthy and is growing. I think what really scared me and made me not want to do it (besides it being painful) was a lactation consultant at where I had Ivy. She was very forceful and was telling me that if I didn't breast feed that Ivy was going to be behind and a very sick child. I was really scared and I tried to push through that pain, but let's be honest I was kinda a pussy too. So I decided to pump and bottle feed her. When my supply decreased around 7-8 weeks, I felt like that fresh piece of dogshit. All I could think of was I have to do this, I can't have her on formula. And yes obviously breastmilk is very good for babies, but formula can be just as good too. Yeah, she won't get my natural immunities, but let's be honest, daycare has that taken care of lol. Yes, you get a very special bond with your baby, but Joe gets to bond with her if she is bottle fed and I don't have to be attached to a machine 6x a day. Like I said, I will never make a mom that breast feeds feel like poop because they are doing an amazing job giving their baby the nutrients it needs. If you are a mom that couldn't or chose not to do it, just remember FED IS BEST. That is all that matters. You are still doing a great job!
Over and out.
