How's the Deppe life?

Life update from the Deppe's has been long overdue. Joe has been super busy with his work and is exceling in his many projects.

I have switched rooms at the daycare that I work at and it has been a blessing. I am with Ivy or near Ivy's room, so I always see her. Not many people can say that they bring their kids to work, so I very much cherish the situation that I am in. I've been taking a stronger anti-anxiety medication and that has been getting better as well. Not only has it improved my anxiety, but in a way my marriage as well. I'm not so "snippy" anymore. If y'all haven't realized that anxiety shows through in many emotions, then wake up and smell the coffee beans because it does.

I have recently gotten a tattoo for my daughter and all the future children that Joe and I will have and it is beautiful. I am in love with it and it means so much to me. Ivy has been such a blessing in our lives that it just seemed fit that I would get this for her. Eventually, I will get it dressed up some more, I have lots of tattoo plans in the works, however financially they are quite pricey so eventually they will be done.

Ivy has been growing like a weed. She has learned new things, like "so big" and how to hold her bottle on her own. She also shakes her head "no" a lot and now has realized what the word means as well. Her personality shines through more and more everyday. She has two bottom teeth as well so that has come quite handy when it comes to her eating foods. By the way, SHE LOVES FOOD. I mean are you that surprised though? Look at her dad and mom haha.

Things I have learned in motherhood so far, it's okay to not always be on your "A game". Moms and dads are like superheroes so lets just cut us some slack and not be so hard on each other. It's very easy to get sucked into that, I myself have done this to others and that's not right. Being a parent is hard and we should all be on the same team. Also, I have learned just by being a simple human being is to forgive. Forgive the unfortunate things that have happened to you and learn from them. Find the blessings in your unfortunate situations. I have learn that there are people I can count on and have my back. I have also learned that people will be nice to your face but will not root for you when you aren't around. And you know what? That's fine by me because I learned that those people aren't worth any of my time and attention. And that is a blessing to realize. God knows in my heart that I have forgiven, but that I have also learned my lessons.

And remember folks, God loves you so much, He loves all the good and bad that comes with you. He forgives you when you ask and His mercy is yours to have when you truly love Him. I try to remind myself that when I am not loving myself at the moment. GOD LOVES YOU :)

Motherhood

Sometimes I still have to remind myself that I am a mom. Should I feel bad that I have to remind myself that? Lol sometimes I have to remind myself I can't just up and leave whenever I feel like it. I could never imagine myself leaving Ivy, but seriously it is the weird thing to talk to yourself about that lol. Eh whatever, I guess maybe some new moms still feel that way too. Anyways, the last three months have been so crazy and so fun. Ivy is growing like a weed (sooooo smiley too!) and I feel like if I eat one more bag of baked Cheetos I am going to grow wider. PSA, I am still going to eat a bag of baked Cheetos lol. Mother's Day hit Sunday and I seriously had such a good time. Did a little shopping for myself and then I went to a movie *insert drum roll* BY MYSELF!!! Seriously, it is like the best thing ever. I highly highly HIGHLY recommend this to anyone and everyone to do it at least do once. Don't get me wrong, I love going with Joe, but it was nice to just chill in the movie theater with a bag of popcorn and Coke and not have to share with someone. The Avengers: Infinity War, changed my freaking life. I won't get into the details because 1. I don't want to give out potential spoilers and 2. I would go on and on about it for the rest of the post. Lastly, I went to dinner with Joe and Ivy at my favorite Mexican resturant. It was seriously a splendid first Mother's Day. Since being back to work a few weeks ago, it is so nice to get into a routine. Ivy actually does so much better being on a routine as well so I really don't regret coming back to work early. Plus I missed all of those daycare kids. But honestly, I got so bored and I really didn't think I was going to. Plus, Ivy had a really hard 6 week mark and I was sooooo emotionally drained from hearing her cry every second of the day. It was another reason why I decided to go back at 9 weeks rather than 12 weeks. Then again, I am taking her to work with me. I can't vouch for those moms out there that do leave their babies at daycare and don't get to see them. I would be devastated if I worked somewhere else and Ivy went to daycare. Then I would have probably taken the 12 weeks for sure. Last thing I want to mention that I am very grateful for. FORMULA. OH GOOD LORD. Why did I think that formula was evil? Breastfeeding was so hard and painful. I give props to all the moms that did it and continue to do it with each child they have. A wonderful lady that cuts my hair said it came naturally to her and she was the first mom I didn't get envious about. Because before she said that, she said, "So what? She is thriving and healthy." She told me this after I was telling her about my struggle with it and how bad I felt. It was the way she said it and how she went about it that made me think, you betcha! My little girl is very healthy and is growing. I think what really scared me and made me not want to do it (besides it being painful) was a lactation consultant at where I had Ivy. She was very forceful and was telling me that if I didn't breast feed that Ivy was going to be behind and a very sick child. I was really scared and I tried to push through that pain, but let's be honest I was kinda a pussy too. So I decided to pump and bottle feed her. When my supply decreased around 7-8 weeks, I felt like that fresh piece of dogshit. All I could think of was I have to do this, I can't have her on formula. And yes obviously breastmilk is very good for babies, but formula can be just as good too. Yeah, she won't get my natural immunities, but let's be honest, daycare has that taken care of lol. Yes, you get a very special bond with your baby, but Joe gets to bond with her if she is bottle fed and I don't have to be attached to a machine 6x a day. Like I said, I will never make a mom that breast feeds feel like poop because they are doing an amazing job giving their baby the nutrients it needs. If you are a mom that couldn't or chose not to do it, just remember FED IS BEST. That is all that matters. You are still doing a great job!

Over and out.